Help!!!! what wud u do????

im thinking of running away from it all just packing me suitcase n jettin to anywhere but here but.....ill be leaving my bf behind n my son who lives wiv his dad very nasty coustidy battle i ended up in a mental hosital due to it so i dont see him! and my bf is 18 and not really the guy for me i dont think he has cheated and hurt me physicly im in this world where nothing makes sence and im dying to escape weather it be running or in a box i really dont have a reason to wake any more whats the point sorry if im coming across really morbid any advice gratefull i dont see my family i grew up in care!!!